Physics FAIL, right out of the box -> Choose the cannonball, choose laser, and you get shot out of the airship and you blab about Newton's Third Law.
Newton's Third Law of Motion states that for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. However, this is a law of kinetic energy, not a law which is very applicable to the discharge of a laser. Did you feel any particularly overwhelming pressure placed upon you the last time you turned on a light bulb? No, you didn't, because a laser releases a beam or burst of tightly-focused coherent light, with a kinetic force so negligible that the blood circulating through your hand causes more recoil.
Then you had the balls to blah at us about it, as if we were dunces for not realizing that it was YOU whose physics teacher would hang their head in shame.