For me it was the time where my little brother wanted a milkshake but my mom decided he wouldn't get one, so he literally hurted me because of a fucking milkshake.

Idk maybe that time I was working in a warehouse and my hostler backed a trailer into the dock where the ramp didn't extend so you had to raise it up, then run into the trailer and use a metal rod to pull it up, and I slipped on the icy floor of the refrigerated truck and it came down on my foot and pinned me to the floor until somebody found me and completely crushed my toe.

My brother stubbed his toe while sitting in a chair

When I punched a padded wall in gym class.

It wasn't as padded as I thought.

My idiot friend had the lights off because he was trying to train himself to see in near complete darkness. I spotted a kitchen knife on the floor so I picked it up... by the blade. It hurt like a bitch and I ended up getting dizzy and puking from the shock. Better to cut my thumb from picking it up than cutting my foot from stepping on it, fwiw.

And also it was such a clean cut that I didn't even need stitches.

I somehow kicked myself in the back of the head when I was 10

I ran down a hill at top speed and my knee burst open as i tripped and landed on the rocks at the bottom

Crawled under a teeter-totter when I was 7...

yesterday i jerked my head to avoid getting my head hit from a punch then my head got hit because there was a wall behind me

I used my legs too much, it felt like every bones on the leg are about to shatter

I’ve had many funny injuries, but I think this one takes the cake.

Swung my arm around while making a meme reference, hit my funny bone on the chair, and involuntarily stopped talking after the first word. All I got out was “some”.

I. For some reason. And unwillingly out of nowhere. Decided to touch the iron part on the flat iron thinking it wasn't on. Only for me to get the gravest mistake possible.

Probably the dumbest was when I was 3 years old and decided it would be a good idea to yeet from the top step and superman down the staircase. The uncarpeted wood staircase. Broke my collar bone.

Dumbest I can actually remember was getting a concussion while wrestling friends in a snowbank after work and got kneed in the head real hard. Saw stars. had to call my dad to pick me up and bring me to the doctor. We were all like 17-18 years old. Pretty much adults. Rolling around in the snow like idiots.

Stubbed my toe in an office chair, then my nail broke and bled all night

Me and my older sisters were playing a game where we clamp those clothes hangers with the hinge clamps on the ceiling fan, turn the fan on, and watch where the fan hurls the clothes hangers. All the property damage was all fun and games until I got a black eye from one of the clothes hangers.

6 years old, saw a piece of broken glass at thr playground and decided to close my eyes and jump over it.

i missed and needed stitches

Jumped into my bed and landed on the metal frame with my head thinking it was still the mattress (it was covered with a comforter)

I almost broke my elbow by jumping off a jungle gym on the first day of my first job as a landscaper. I was stupid and didn't bend my elbows when I landed. I had to wear a sling for a week. It's a miracle they didn't fire me lol

Three way tie between falling up stairs, accidentally stabbing myself hard enough with a colored pencil to draw blood, and inadvertently dropping a piñata on my head at work.

The first and third things have happened multiple times.

I'm accident prone.

Ah yes, I’ve done something similar but not quite as bad. One night, back when I had my bed positioned with the headboard against the middle of the wall, I straight up rolled off the bed and fell on my ass because I tried to flip over the wrong way.

Man, it takes a special talent to fall up the stairs. I don’t know if even I have done that!

That must've been a big jolt if you were also asleep jesus. The only time I fell on my ass like that must've been when I was trying to stop a cat from pissing over some boxes. I ran to grab the cat, missed, the cat walks off, and then I slip on a damn handkerchief. I fall flat on my ass, sitting, and the handkerchief lands on my face. I just sat there for a while taking in how ridiculous it all was.

Oh my god, you’re literally a cartoon.

Somehow life finds the dumbest situations to put me into

not the stupidest way that I ever got hurt since I can't think of any (my memory sucks), but,

there has been many times where I walked around inside my house and sometimes accidentally hit my thighs with a literal table

TABLE

LITERALLY, TABLE

WHAT AN ACTUAL BYLAT

and I remember this time where I was walking around outside during the winter and I accidentally slipped (the floor were slippery ok?) and fell and hurt my thighs, this happened like 2 times blin

I think the entire world has something against my thighs :/

dw i'm fine lol

I just bumped my shin with a table corner because I was too stubborn to turn on a light switch approximately 2 steps out of my way.

PSA: Wait until the train comes to a complete stop.

me: IhavetogettotheboardmeetingthatseatlooksemptyIshouldgetthatseatsoIcanleavefasteohwaitwhyamIflying

Displaced a vertebra while putting on a sweater, couldn't move for two days.

When I was twelve I started doing martial arts. I thought it would be a good idea to practice at home so I did a jump kick from carpet to linoleum and my bare foot stuck like glue to it while my body kept going. Nearly tore the ligaments in my left knee and it took about six months before I was back to walking normally lol. Its a tie between that and the time I shot a metal wire through my hand with a homemade miniature crossbow. I was like "wtf did the bolt go?!" and looked everywhere before I realized it was lodged in the skin between my index and thumb.

I drove this goofy bicycle way too fast and fell. Yes it is very small and turns way too quickly.

I still have the bicycle.