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Reviews for "Dear, Princess"

I'd like to have liked this more than I do, but frankly, the grammatical (and, frankly, English ... not spelling, not grammar, just using the wrong WORD) errors detract significantly from the message. This is a good concept and I love where your heart is, but please, get a proofreader/editor next time. Your voice doesn't SOUND like English isn't your first language, so I'm not sure why there are errors like using "shameful" when it's clear that "ashamed" was actually what you meant to say.

A few others I remember (there were more, these are just the ones that come to mind):

"Dear, Princess" should be "Dear Princess"
"Every single one of them rejected her in pain" makes it sound like the princes were the ones in pain; "Every single one of them rejected her, leaving her in pain" would be clearer
"countless of letters" should be "countless letters"
"people, things and ideas who was not a prince himself" - this is just wrong. Perhaps "people, things, and ideas instead of actual princes"?
"the princess was full of tears" would probably play better as "Her eyes were full of tears"
In "The princess discovered what "love" truly was", the quotation marks around love imply that you mean something other than love, which is more or less exactly the opposite of the point you were trying to make

I would have also perhaps suggested that, towards the end, you quote 1 Corinthians 13:4ff. You know, the "Love is patient, love is kind" section.

exninja123 responds:

thanks for the critique! :)

amazing. i love the music i know it was from kingdom hearts. I loved the story and the message it brings

exninja123 responds:

haha, thanks! :D

oh love is enternal and all that crap bogus u tried to be the best and nicest person to this one cheerleader and what i got? a slap in the face.....

exninja123 responds:

oh that sucks....
maybe it wasn't meant to be :/

This is a touching story...it made me cry alittle at the end ;~;

exninja123 responds:

thanks! :)

Wow, that's incredibly beautiful. I completely overlooked the voiceover the first time watching this, because i was paying attention to the message. You, friend, have a great talent. Keep up the good work.

exninja123 responds:

thank you! :D