This will be a thread where I post lyrics I have written. I will warn you a lot of them are very deep and depressing, but that's just how life is apparently. Here's a song I wrote called Keep Me From Hell

Everybody is upset with me

Because I am so depressed

But they don't understand or see

The darkness in my chest

Throughout these 18 years

I have felt my heart sink

The days always end in tears

And I am on the brink

Of committing suicide nearly

Every single day

People have come to fear me

I've pushed everyone away

I mean them no harm

But I do towards myself

And the cuts upon my arm

Are all that keeps me from hell

I need to find something

I need to find anything

Each day I slowly turn to ash

Because music is all I fucking have

I realized something on this day

I'll always be filled with inner hate

I will never in my entire life

Afford the surgery to better my life

I will never be truly pretty

Not on the inside or the outside

If in life I'll never be happy

Then I mind as well just die

Also, please excuse me if I post a lot here. I tend to write lyrics more than I eat. I also don't want people to mix up the lyrics together.

The last time I was happy

For more than a few days

I was with you, my dear

I was in your arms, Sofia

The memories are fading

I am slowly forgetting you

I know that you were the one

And that was the very reason

That I had to let you go

Someone like you should never

Know the pain that I feel,

Feel the pain that I feel

The last time I was happy

For more than a few days

I was with you, my dear

I was in your arms, Sofia

I almost died for you, my love

And it's all my mother's fault

It's all my rapist's fault

It's everyone else's fault but mine

If God is above then why

Has he yet to give me death

I want to feel the hellfire

Consume all of my flesh

Please God, just kill me

Why must you torture me

If you really do exist

Then you are to blame for everything

If God is above then please

I beg you to strike me down

I beg you to just hurry

And fucking kill me now

What have I done to deserve

The rape, the abuse, a dead father,

Dead memories, brutal upbringings

What the fuck have I done?

You filthy, festering, evil cunt

I will never forgive what you have done

You took my innocence at the age of 4

Raped me in the woods until my leg broke

I would've told someone if I could

And now it is simply too late

Nobody believed me until now

All the evidence is gone

Your mother prayed for you to die

When you were but a child

Everyone in my family told me so

Nobody ever loved you

You are a horrible person

And you've made me what I am

I've hurt children growing up,

I didn't know any better back then

It's all because of you

I fucking hate you

You ruined me at such

A young, fragile age

You were my grandfather

You were supposed to care

You were supposed to be trusted

But no...

You were a pedophile

You were a rapist

You were an alcoholic

You were a sadist

And I know for sure that nothing's changed

Because how can anyone forget such a thing

How can I forget being raped?

I swear on my life I'll piss on your grave

I desecrate your corpse when you die

In every single way imaginable

Things were never simple for me

And I have you to fucking blame

You took me in when no one else would

And then shit all over me just cuz you could

I can't believe the person breaking me right now

Is the only person I have ever fucking loved

You don't give a fuck how I feel?

Then fuck you too, you piece of shit

Fuck your feelings, you vile bitch

I knew that you weren't to be trusted

You make me motherfucking sick

You make me want to vomit

Scaring me into respecting you

I fucking hate to love you

God damn you, you motherfucker

You'll be sorry when I fucking die

Goddammit, you motherfucker

You make me fucking writhe

Fuck you, get out of my head (x4)

Mommy broke me (x4)

I have nowhere else to go

And so I'll deal with you

I am helpless

I am hurt

Thoughts racing, body shaking

Hallucinations on walks taken

Everybody seems to hate me

They all plan to kill and rape me

Crying out in blackened sight

Bastard child sees no light

Flashbacks fade, causing rage

Break me out of this cage

Never taught how to cope

With the realization of no hope

Been searching for years for a way

To make it all go away

None of it will ever leave

I will continue to seethe

Until I no longer breathe

Music will keep me serene

Everytime I look at you, my heart skips a beat

I see my ex lover in you, and that sickens me

I wouldn't call it love, I don't know what I'm thinking of

A morbid intimacy for you is cutting me up

You're all the fucking same, you'll just use me

Hypnotize my heart, then fucking abuse me

I must avoid your beautiful eyes, your perfect smile

I must avoid your soft hair, or the cycle will reconcile

I don't want to get caught up in heartbreaking affection

Because I know it will only end in me stabbing my reflection

I could never protect you, if I am too fragile

I wish I could tell you why I'm so bashful

But no, I'll never trust another one of you

You're all the same, and you know it too

I won't be mesmerized by another traitor

I'll never love you, because I hate her

The voices are telling me to kill myself

It is a voice that I know quite well

A voice that nurtured me for years

Then grew to be one of my greatest fears

Voices scream at me in the distance

Lingering voices of dissonance

Distorted laughter mocking my scars

Why have you forsaken my heart?

This depression will forever linger

I'll always have this blood on my fingers

It's impossible to stop the tears from bursting

The knife is calling me, I am yearning

I live in an eternal sorrow

Should I end my life tomorrow?

I could never do it

I'm forever wounded

Of all the things I could forget from my past

I have forgotten my father who passed

I wish I could remember the bond we had

I wish I could remember my only true dad

The only positive father figure in my life

Was taken from me, now I don't recognize

His face in the pictures that I have seen

My memory's of you are all gone it seems

If heaven were real, I'd kill myself just to see you again

If I cannot remember, then why does it still hurt me to no end?

My heart drops when your name is spoken

And your child has only just now awoken

From an 18 year-long nightmare

That is still affecting me everywhere

Would you be proud that all of my art is true?

When I die, I want to be buried next to you

Die motherfucker, die motherfucker

I have waited too long for you to suffer

Die motherfucker, you festering slime

My blade penetrates the skin between your eyes

All of these years, you've always played the victim

Even as a child, you thrived in molestation

Raping your siblings, dashing their souls

Taking the virginity of children with no homes

It is about time you met your demise

Your corpse shall be doused in maggots and flies

Not a single trace of your body will be left on this Earth

Your skeleton, the last evidence, will be fucking burned

All of these years, you've always played the victim

Even as a child, you thrived in molestation

Raping your siblings, dashing their souls

Taking the virginity of children with no homes

I spoke to the devil as I tried to kill myself

He said there's a special place for you down in hell

You gave me these mental illnesses

As you die, I shall make sure there's no witnesses

The sound of my own blood curdling screams

Have been haunting me within my dreams

Nauseous, I feel like I am going to puke

If I have to lay my eyes once again on you

Open wounds, bleed me dry

The pain soothes, so I cry

Venomous, poisoned thoughts

Strenuous, my mind is lost

Look at the poor bastard

Could've lived much longer

He took his own life

Throat cut open with a knife

Pills scattered on the floor

Wrists slit, mouth foaming

The sight of my own corpse

Wrist slit, mouth foaming

Blood stains, a severed heart

Drained of blood, all for his art

This was not a suicide

He was killed by the ghost inside

Pills scattered on the floor

Wrists slit, mouth foaming

The sight of my own corpse

Wrist slit, mouth foaming

No matter where I go

They will always follow

Every year of my life

They've cut me with their knife

And no matter what I say

It will always be my fault

And no matter what I say

I will always be wrong

I'm not ready to be an adult

I never had the chance to be a child

I just want to end it all

Is there still a point in trying?

Everything I love, is being ruined

And the voice in my head tells me to do it

The voice in my head knows very well

That suicide seems to be my only escape from hell

And no matter what I say

It will always be my fault

And no matter what I say

I will always be wrong

A gentle breeze flows

Voices whisper in the night

Shadows dance under the moon

Safe in eternal serenity

The animals are asleep

Mother nature rests her eyes

All is not lost, my children

Sleep in the serene wilderness

My branches shall hold you tight

Forget the past on this night

All is forever lost, my children

All that's left is serene wilderness

All is not lost, they said

All is forever lost, they realize

I am forever gone

I am forever gone

A desolate forest void of hope

Isolation is the only way to cope

I cannot be harmed by anyone

If I am nowhere near those cunts

Empty forest, hold me tight

Hear me weeping in the night

I am a sapling beneath your canopy

I find happiness in this Botany

Each raindrop shall hide my tears

Nothing will make me face my fears

I just wish to decompose alongside

The empty forest's wildlife

I find beauty in unusual things

The way the wind blows against my skin

Freezing my fingertips

Something about that fills me with joy

I find beauty in strange sounds

The way black metal chills me

With screams of damnation

Something about that fills me with joy

The way bark falls from trees

The way the sun reddens the night sky

The way the moon changes form

Something about that fills me with joy

The way people eventually die

The way I got to make her cry

For almost causing my suicide

There is beauty in strange things

Why is it that I look back on our joyful times?

More often than your unforgivable crimes

You broke my heart so many times

Positive or not, you still make me cry

I should be over you by now

But dreams scream your name quite loud

I never had a fucking chance

What would've happened at the dance?

If you didn't send me to the mental hospital

Would love for us have been possible?

I still dream about fucking you and it's shameful

Of course a whore like you loved anal

Of course that filthy human sex toy

Is going out with her 23rd boy

Of course that fucking slut can't love

Of course that fucking slut can't love

I feel such shame waking up from my dreams

Of you, I should hate you, but still find you enchanting

And you're the reason I won't be hypnotized by the next

So I shall eliminate the positive remembrances

This mask covers more than my face

A shell of flesh covers my true body

I don't want the world to see

What lies beneath

A cold deity of cruelty and lies

Making it's escape with a knife

No matter how much I fight

It still haunts me in the night

Layers of flesh...

Fueling my stress...

Claw their way out...

Shrieking so loud...

Slicing my skin...

Lacerations...

Let it seep out...

Demons bleed out...

The outside of my flesh

Is nothing more than

A pelt of useless skin

Dead skin hides my demons

My flesh serves only one purpose

To conceal my inner hurting

It's hard to keep blood from squirting

The knife is calling, I'm yearning

It's slowly becoming visible to the eye

Hatred has become difficult to hide

It might be the cause of my suicide

But it's the truth that I fake my smile

I fake a lot of shit, everyone sees my happiness

But inside I'm writhing, I live my life by lying

Just fake all your feelings, cause no one wants to hear it

In my head I'm screaming, silent yet ear piercing

Victimized at the hands of someone who should've cared

Beaten, manipulated, held down as you cut my hair

Every single time I did something about your cruelty

Your vile husband would beat the shit out of me

I shall induce the same agony and fear

You caused me for all of these years

I break off your nails, one by one

Quit screaming, you harlot, I've just begun

I inject your veins with pain killers

To ensure you're awake for this torture

Slowly I lacerate every inch of your flesh

Then douse you in gasoline so it burns to no end

As you scream in pain, I force feed you roaches

Daddy's not here to save you, you're hopeless

You bleed out, mangled, naked on the floor

And you have only yourself to blame, whore

I am the child you held upside down and beat

I wasn't even 4 years old, I was helpless and weak

It's one of the only things I remember as an infant

You were the first of many abusers, Clinton

And now you live happily with your own son

I wish I could take him from you, you cunt

Then you'd know how my mother felt

Walking in on you beating me with a belt

The day I confronted you is a day I won't forget

Trying to make you kill yourself, but you felt no regret

Filthy bastards like you will never change it seems

I never got my justice and that fills me with agony

I want to stab you in the throat and fuck you in the wound

I've always been one for vengeance since the day I left the womb

Everyone who ever harmed me never got harmed back

And I'm constantly reminded through all of these flashbacks

You sent me to so many mental hospitals as a child

And you wonder why I have grown up so wild

You never taught me how to deal with my problems

All I know how to do is run from all of them

Hospitals never heal, the doctors just want their check

I came out worse each time, now I'm a total wreck

I thought that you were supposed to raise me

All you did was feed, beat, and hate me

I love you dearly for the life you have given

But you are the mother who left me with him

You allowed me to be raped by your father

You knew very well he was an alcoholic

You knew very well that he was abusive

And yet you still left me with him

You knew very well that he was abusive

And yet you still left me with him

You still refer to him as your dad

Even after being told the pain I've had

He will never be your real family

After everything he has done to me

You knew very well that he was abusive

And yet you still left me with him

You knew very well that he was abusive

And yet you still left me with him

You laughed in my face, mocking my scars

Then ya attitude changed when I slashed ya fuckin arm

Maybe now ya know my pain, ya motherfuckin vile bitch

You ain't my real mama, this is what ya get for being abusive

What if told I ya that watching the blood go down ya arm

Sexually excited me, because I caused ya harm

You ain't attractive, I'm just happy that I slashed ya wrist

You deserve it, for all the things ya fuckin did, bitch

You did this to yourself (x8)

After over ten years of giving me abuse

Denying my past, and forcing me to love you

You cannot take one second of the same

Pain that you caused, bitch you should be ashamed

I feel no remorse for all the times I fought back

After all, ya bitch-ass deserve all that

I feel no remorse for the one time I knocked you out

After all the times you beat me to the ground

You did this to yourself (x8)

As I walk through this cemetery trail

Frostbitten static flashes before my eyes

Hanging from each blade of grass

Shards of what used to be a soul

Molested, murdered, abused as they lived

Stuck in limbo, no one knows how they perished

Abandoned by all, what have they done?

Disrespected, neglected as they rot

I pity the frostbitten static

Forgotten by the ones it trusted

You're not of my bloodline, but we're close

Humanity has forgotten to feel sorrow

I will always be there for the dead

As they have always been there for me

Frostbitten static, I know your pain

But the important thing is that I feel it

I've only kept the darkest of memories

From my brooding, depraved childhood

All the abuse, the hate, the rape

The only father that loved me is gone

I'm finally told that he passed away

But it's been over a fucking decade

You kept that information from me

I always thought one day, I'd see him

The day I was told he'd been dead for 10 years

Is a day that will haunt me for the rest of my life

I never had the chance to bond with anyone

Other than my biological mom for less than a year

And yet people expect me to understand compassion

People expect me to respect others without reason

I wasn't raised that way, because I wasn't raised at all

I am incapable of feeling anything for someone else

It's not my choice to feel pain

If you truly think I want to struggle

Then just stop acting like you know me

You'll never understand me with that mindset

There is no cure for the ill

Medication is only temporary

I walk at night, hoping to be killed

That is the one single reason

You've got a lot of nerve to complain about it

You've moved on from your past already

I still have more issues than I'll ever tell you

And yet, you don't see me taking it out on others

Dangerous people are out at night

And if you ever notice I'm gone in the dark

Then, that is the moment you should be worried

Because I am simply waiting to be murdered

Dangerous people are out at night

I'd only be out in the dark to meet my demise

To put it simply, if I am out in the dark

I am obviously feeling suicidal

I wretch at the sound of your name

Flashbacks, terror, nightmares

I want to stab you, but my arm won't move

I fall down, passing out as you slam my head

And yet when I knocked you out

I was supposed to feel guilt?

You will never be my true mother

Therefore, I will give you nothing but apathy

I felt so content as you fell to the ground

Even if it was only for a few seconds

Daddy wasn't home to defend you again

Despite my revenge, you still haunt me

Rest your eyes, my dear

I know you can still hear

The sobbing of the bastard

You practically raised

No longer shall you suffer

You are finally at peace

And though I can't visit your grave

Just know that you meant the world to me

You were there when no human was

You cared for me your entire life

You would guard me in the night

Lying at the end of my bed

No longer shall you suffer

You are finally at peace

And though I can't visit your grave

Just know that you meant the world to me