Should I kill myself or everyone around me?

I've never been one to fulfill my promises

The amount of pain I go through daily is astounding

I want the world to burn at my fucking feet

I want to make the people on this Earth suffer

I refuse to be alone in my despair and pain

What is the point of caring for someone else

When I know that I have nothing to gain?

Call me a selfish piece of shit all you want

This is how I've been raised to think

I'm only just now learning this mindset's wrong

Lies, lies, lies, spoon fed to me as a kid

I'm not normal, I'm a fucking freak

I deserve mortal wounds upon me

And yet I know I shouldn't have been beat

Crying in rage, all I can do is scream

I take walks in the cemetery to stay sane

Reminding myself what I will be if I kill myself

Just another corpse in a field of bodies

Alone, rotting, with not a single visitor

I have tried my absolute hardest to persevere

And everyone I meet tells me to stay alive

But I'm starting to remember the reason

That I began cutting myself to begin with

I do not write any cries for help

Because there is no fixing one who is broken

I am at peace with the fact that I'm too far gone

And yet I am still unable to cope with it

Medication has never helped me once

At least not for a long period of time

I am dependent on medication for happiness

And that is the last thing I ever wanted

"You never truly felt this way"

"You are nothing but a tranny"

I live and breathe nothing but hate

And everyone else is to blame

It was never my choice

For me to like boys

And I hate being bisexual

And I hate being transsexual

Why is it so hard to just accept myself?

It is too late to fix my mental health

Within my heart, a demon dwells

And she is unhappy with her shell

In the words of an adoptive mother

"If being a woman makes you happy"

"Then you better live your life depressed"

That is what she had told me

And no matter how much I cried

She just did not seem to care

And no matter how many attempted suicides

She just did not seem to care

You were supposed to take care of me

You were never there for me emotionally

You always found a way to make my problems worse

And now that you're gone, you expect me to feel hurt

You're lucky I didn't have access to your guns

Because I would've shoved that pistol in your cunt

Pull the trigger and feel no remorse

I don't care if it won't accomplish anything, whore

Those who harm are never the ones to get harmed

I was justified when I slashed your fucking arm

You could not fathom how happy I was

When I realized that I had drew blood

Cancel this, cancel that

Ruining lives just because you're bored

Salty that your life is shit

Cunts like you deserve to die

False allegations, idiotic statements

Life of devastating the innocent

Those who lie about rape deserve

To have it happen to them

I was raped at the age of 4, I know the pain that comes with it

To see people lie about it makes me sick to my fucking stomach

Mohammed is the messenger of lies and deceit

Allah has birthed an army of mindless terrorists

Don't believe all of the lies, all religions are frauds

And if you can't accept that, you're no better than those cunts

Black Metal propaganda has always focused partially

On eliminating a human being simply for their skin color

I won't stand for that, race does not determine someone's worth

Religion is the true issue at hand and must be dealt with using brutality

If Mohammed were real, then he's no better than Jesus

A lowlife liar who spreads false hope

All religious figures must be removed from the face of the Earth

There is no reason fairy tales should run someone's life

You mocked me and laughed in my face

You found the fact that I cut myself funny

Your attitude changed when I took my knife

And slashed your arm without thinking twice

What if I told you that watching the blood run down your arm

Sexually excited me, because I caused you harm

What if I told you that I'll never regret that decision

You deserve to be covered in infected incisions

I wish that I had left a scar on you that day

To remind you of how far you always push me

The mere thought of you alive drives me to madness

As well as the fact that you find humor in my sadness

I once sprayed bleach inside of your beverage

In an attempt to poison you, but I was hesitant

And instead I threw it away foolishly

In fear the police would know it was me

I know that I will never be rid of this pain

I know that I will never be rid of this hate

I will never forget what you've done to me

Your own grandson, who you decided to rape

You have scarred me for the rest of my life

And now I trust no one outside in the night

Because I fear that it will just happen again

Even if I forgave you, this pain wouldn't end

He who defiles his own flesh and blood

Does not deserve any feeling of love

If not for you living such distance away

I would have raped you with a smile on my face

We as human beings are capable of murder

My thirst for revenge is what drives my will to kill further

You will never feel the guilt you should have

Until it is forced into your heart with a stab

Life has been out to get me since I was born

I can never catch a break from my heart being torn

I have never considered myself to be a fighter

I am too weak to fight for my life, I am just a writer

Time is moving ever so slowly

Is it going to be my entire life, I am lonely

Nobody will ever be here to hold me

Nobody would ever care to know me

I have no problem with harming myself

If it would make you uncomfortable enough to go away

I am trapped inside of my personal hell

And nobody is going to come and save me

Time is moving ever so slowly

Is it going to be my entire life, I am lonely

Nobody will ever be here to hold me

Nobody would ever care to know me

What have I done to deserve all of this pain?

Those who harm are never harmed in any way

I cannot help but dwell on the past if it always comes back to haunt me

Suicide is a permanent solution to a problem that does not seem temporary

I don't care if you're a woman, nor that you adopted me

Violence is blind to gender, and you abused me

You're a filthy fucking bitch, eye for an eye

I will beat you to the very inch of your life

I want to feel your blood and tears on my bare hands

I want to hear you crying out for help towards emptiness

I want to see the life slowly drain from your eyes

I want to make you suffer slowly until your demise

You do not deserve the air that you breathe

You rotten cunt, you always wanted me to seethe

Well now it is time for me to make you bleed

Say one more word, I will give you reason to hate me

Open your mouth again and I will break your jaw

You will never be my mother, not even by law

I dare you to come back to where I live

If you ever do, prepare to have your throat slit

I want to feel your blood and tears on my bare hands

I want to hear you crying out for help towards emptiness

I want to see the life slowly drain from your eyes

I want to make you suffer slowly until your demise

I'm at my boiling point, haunted by past mistakes

Might hang myself in this joint, problem ain't temporary

Permanent solution to this endless pollution

Mental institution said I'm filled with delusion

I'm sick of all of this hate, from the abuse and the rape

Berate me I'm not okay, frustrated and maybe insane

I've tried my best, to fight back all this stress

But I confess, you can't fix a mental mess

Seems I'll be this way forever

My head is better off severed

Seems I'll be this way forever

It's alright, oh well, whatever

Seems I'll be this way forever

My head is better off severed

Seems I'll be this way forever

It's alright, oh well, whatever

"Why the fuck this white boy making trap metal?"

"You ain't from the ghetto boy, stick to black metal"

I don't do this shit to make people think that I'm hot shit

The reason I do this is to cope with my depression

People really out here, pretending to be thugs

I don't fake my personality, I know where I'm from

Born in the city, homeless, raised in the country

Beaten down by everyone who was supposed to love me

I don't give a fuck what you people think of me

I don't do this for the clout, I do this for me

I am just a rotten soul who dug his own grave

Trauma will always linger, I heard a wise man say

My family no longer trusts me with a knife

Due to me bleeding out of each arm that I sliced

I no longer see the point in slashing at my wrists

Trying to stay positive, but everyday, I'm pissed

Why can't you see what I'm feeling isn't right?

Mommy your words cut me even deeper than my knife

I remember when we used to tally up my height

And even though I loved you, you still haunt me in the night

Tried to be your son, but you left me in the dark

Rotting by myself with a broken fucking heart

Beat me til I'm bleeding, the screaming left deeper marks

Now I can't get close to anyone, cuz nothing sparks

Mommy, why did you adopt me?

Just to fucking beat me

Just to fucking leave me

Hope you die soon

Mommy, why did you adopt me?

Just to fucking beat me

Just to fucking leave me

Hope you die soon...

Glasgow smile, I haven't been myself for awhile

Fuck a freestyle, sorry but it just ain't my style

Been defiled, my whole soul is drowned in bile

I'm hostile, but I had my reasons ever since I was a child

Trial and error, every shot at love seems to end in terror

She said I scare her, but that bitch lucky that I fuckin spared her

Said I'm a poser, I don't pretend to be younger or older

Gun in your holster, shooting that gun don't make you any bolder

At 4/17/20 12:24 PM, StaticSkull2 wrote:

Why could you not of made less post why did you have to hit enter every half verse and spam this forum? WHY lol..

i can't even begin to tell you how scummy you are for this. this is exactly the type of shit that gets you blocked. i honestly hope you die a slow painful death. you don't come into some extremely personal shit and say some shit like that.

All of this anxiety is depriving me of sleep

I myself cannot fathom the things that I have seen

I feel like I'm dying and I have nowhere to flee

I just feel like crying, going on a killing spree

All this stress is relentless and I just feel like shit

Broken from past traumas and I feel like giving in

It's clear now for me to see that I can never win

At least I no longer feel the urge to slash my skin

I'm so sick of feeling all this pain inside my chest

Been searching for years for a way to lose all this stress

I'm sitting here cursed, while even worse people are blessed

Anyone who sees me recognizes I'm a mess

Gambling my cash away, trying to hit the dice

Never trust these bitches, because all they tell is lies

Life sure has its lows and I have yet to see the highs

I can't do any shows, because I can't socialize

Been hated my whole life just because I am not straight

By a fake family, when I used to live upstate

Tried to kill my fake parents with poison and a blade

They never believed me when I told them I was raped

I'm so sick of feeling all this pain inside my chest

Been searching for years for a way to lose all this stress

I'm sitting here cursed, while even worse people are blessed

Anyone who sees me recognizes I'm a mess

A broken carcass lying on the floor

The poor bastard couldn't take it

Life has dealt him a horrible hand

He blew his brain out of his head

What have you fucking done to me?

You fucking ruined my life

You were supposed to love me

And instead you fucking rape me

I can promise you with all of my fucking heart

If I say I want you dead, I meant it from the start

The few people that I've told to fucking kill themselves

I don't regret it and I hope you fucking burn in hell

Do something constructive with your life

All you do is talk shit and start fights

Why the fuck should I sympathize

With a motherfucking pedophile

My fake family has treated me like a maggot

They beat me, for I am a lowlife faggot

Do you think this is what I deserve?

Trying to be myself, I must have some nerve

All of these disorders I inhabit

All because I am a dysphoric faggot

All of these disorders I inhabit

All because I am a dysphoric faggot

Even when I tried to take myself from this world

You still abused me, because I want to be a girl

Mother, you even told me to take my own life

Therefore I will remain alive out of spite

All of these disorders I inhabit

All because I am a dysphoric faggot

All of these disorders I inhabit

All because I am a dysphoric faggot

Screaming through tears in the middle of the night

There is no end to this rage and I see no light

I have tried my absolute best to be polite

As you beat me down until my vision went white

The words you said was a pain even worse

"A hopeless tranny is a mother's curse"

"Humanity has grown too diverse"

"This child is undeserving of a nurse"

My own adoptive mother has broken me

Simply for not knowing who I want to be

You had no regrets, no apologies

You hated me for my sexuality

The words you said was a pain even worse

"A hopeless tranny is a mother's curse"

"Humanity has grown too diverse"

"This child is undeserving of a nurse"

The government is trying to get in my head

The government is going to fucking kill me

Electrical pulses will overtake my brain

I need to protect myself from dying

Delusional vagabond has lost his mind

Growing more and more insane

Delusional vagabond has lost his mind

Growing more and more insane

I want to watch the world fucking burn

I want all religions, all races to die

I want nothing to remain but fire and ash

The blood of the people spilling on my bare hands

I do not discriminate any type of person

I hate all of humanity equally

Call me a psychopath all you want

It is animal instinct to kill

Bring back the primitive lifestyle

I want to live like the wildlife

The only law being kill or be killed

I yearn for eternal chaos

No laws, no gods, no masters

Nothing to save my victims

Genocide of the human race

Killing until the day I die

All lives cannot matter until black lives matter

All cops are bastards, they act like they're our masters

I want their bones shattered, I want the pigs splattered

The system's a disaster, cop lives will never matter

I will never be able to understand

Those who hate others for their race

I am sick and fucking tired

Of people justifying it as free speech

Nazi scum, you deserve to die (x4)

Racist cunts are the scum of the Earth

Fascists who want to spread hurt

Who want to watch the planet burn

Death is all those cunts deserve

Nazi scum, you deserve to die (x4)

I signed my life away

Only to be betrayed

Why are you pushing away

The people protecting you?

I have been fighting for this country

All the while, you are ruining it

With evil actions and prejudice remarks

Did mommy never teach you to think before you speak?

This country is still in a period

Of absolute discrimination

LGBT deserve better than this

We have every right to protest

I have been fighting for this country

All the while, you are ruining it

With evil actions and prejudice remarks

Whatever happened to the land of the free?

Look at this selfish prick

Thinking he's hot shit

How does he have kids

When he's out here grooming?

No one likes Onision

He is just a fucking nonce

Never loved by anyone

Seeking so much attention

I don't care if I sound blunt

Onision is a putrid cunt

Pulling publicity stunts

His head needs a good punt

No one likes Onision

He is just a fucking nonce

Never loved by anyone

Seeking so much attention

Your name sends a chill down my spine

All these years I tried to make you mine

And after years of you declining every time

You thought it would be fun to fuck with my mind

You told me that you loved me

You lied through your fucking teeth

Now you haunt me in my dreams

I can't escape a siren's beauty

Told me, your boyfriend was gone

Did everything to lead me on

I was just a boy you preyed upon

Just because one day, you were turned on

You told me that you loved me

You lied through your fucking teeth

Now you haunt me in my dreams

I can't escape a siren's beauty

What an unfortunate event

I've lost yet another friend

Shot dead, a freak accident

His brother now lives in lament

We were only in fourth grade

I remember like it was yesterday

We would run around and play

You were finally happy

It's always the best people who die young

And all because someone trusted kids with a gun

To think that your life had only just begun

Just know that you are missed by everyone

Accidentally killed by your own brother

While you were both living with your grandmother

He thought it was a toy, nothing other

And now this child has to live with murder

We were only in fourth grade

I remember like it was yesterday

We would run around and play

You were finally happy

It's always the best people who die young

And all because someone trusted kids with a gun

To think that your life had only just begun

Just know that you are missed by everyone

Donald Trump is nothing more than an ignorant elderly cunt

Hanging out casually with people like Epstein

Allegations expressed through court documents

Are leading the people to believe he is a pedophile

Over and over, his image continues to worsen

It baffles me how people still support this bastard

And I can't help but notice, they're all senile

Or borderline neo-nazi scumbags

He says antifa are terrorists looking to erase history

While he slowly undoes the good of previous presidents

Open your fucking eyes, can you not see the hypocrisy?

You're being force fed lies, wake up you fucking bitch

The people will rise and fight for a better world

We will ensure true freedom from authoritarianism

Another revolutionary war is bound to occur

Ending with the current president's head beneath a guillotine